Welcome back to Rhode Island Movie Corner’s end-of-the-year list in which I’m counting down my Top 10 WORST films of 2016. This is the second half of a two-part list and today, I’m listing my Top 5 WORST from this past year. If you haven’t read through it before, be sure to click the following link to be directed to Part 1 where I list films #10-6. But now let’s get back to the list!
This next film attracted quite a considerable amount of controversy in terms of its casting. But, as it turns out, that wasn’t even the worst of it.
5. GODS OF EGYPT
Prior to this film’s release, there was quite a lot of controversy surrounding the fact that, for a film set in Egypt, the main cast was predominantly white. And to put all this into perspective, the director, Alex Proyas, was born in Egypt. At the very least, unlike some other instances of controversial white-washing, Proyas and the film’s distributor, Lionsgate, did apologize for this instead of just trying to make an excuse for it (e.g. they needed A-listers for it to be financially successful). However, the predominantly white cast ultimately isn’t the film’s biggest problem. Gods of Egypt is an overproduced and in some cases undercooked fantasy-adventure flick. It’s overproduced in the sense that it’s a ridiculous spin on the traditional story of Egyptian gods, in which these gods fight each other wearing elaborate Iron Man esque armor because, you know, Ancient Egypt! And the action sequences are just CGI overload. I’m not usually one to complain about CGI but this is a case where the film goes quite overboard with its visuals. And with that over-reliance on CGI comes a severe lack of any character development or plot (that’s where the ‘undercooked’ aspect that I was alluding to earlier comes into play). Thus, much of the film’s talented cast is wasted; Chadwick Boseman, Elodie Yung, Geoffrey Rush, etc. Sure, some are trying their best with the terrible material, like Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as main protagonist Horus, but then you have Gerald Butler completely hamming it up as the main villain Set. In short, Gods of Egypt aspires to be a fun action-adventure film a la Indiana Jones but ultimately ends up being a considerably lackluster affair. And while I generally hate to see films bomb at the box-office, I’ll admit that when I saw the first trailer for this film, I could tell right away that it was going to be one of the year’s biggest commercial flops… and it was.
At Number 4, we have the latest installment of a franchise that’s really starting to fizz out. It’s even more noticeable when considering that this franchise wasn’t really that good to begin with.
4. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT
Now, like I said two years ago when I listed Divergent at the Number 9 spot in my 2014 ‘Worst of’ list if you’re a fan of this franchise then all the power to you. Clearly, I’m just not part of this franchise’s target demographic. But even with that said, the Divergent series just doesn’t do much for me. In the genre of ‘young adult’ based book-to-film franchises, this isn’t anywhere on the level of The Hunger Games or The Maze Runner. Thus, the first film, Divergent, landed at the Number 9 spot on my ‘Worst of 2014’ list for being extremely dull and rather unbearably overlong due to its hefty runtime of two hours and twenty minutes. When it came to the first sequel, Insurgent, I didn’t end up seeing it in full before I published my ‘Worst of 2015’ list. But I have watched it since and, yeah, it would’ve ended up on that list. The series saw a change in director with this installment, going from Neil Burger to Robert Schwentke, and despite having marginally better pacing compared to the first film (i.e. this one wasn’t nearly two and a half hours long), the story was still generically dull and it was this film where I realized that I do not give a crap about any of the main characters. Looking back at that list, it would’ve probably edged out Unfriended from the Bottom 10 and be at the Number 7 spot, right below Fifty Shades of Grey. And now, this year, we have Allegiant which, as you’ve probably noticed, lands the highest spot of any entry of the franchise to date at Number 4. This is because watching this film, it’s become apparent that this franchise is now running on fumes as it nears its end.
First off, this is supposed to be the first of a two-part finale because, of course, this has become the trademark of the young adult genre following the success of the two-part adaptation of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. The only thing, though, is that Deathly Hallows is the only instance where splitting the final entry of a series into two films fully worked. It clearly didn’t work for Twilight and with The Hunger Games, the results were mixed at best. So you take the already dragged out narrative of Divergent, split the final book into two films, and yeah you can see where this is going. Heck, they’re still incorporating new ideas into a story that should probably be over by this point. But even if this is ‘probably’ the most interesting of the films in terms of what they’re bringing into the story, it’s still a very dull affair. And while this is also the most visually-heavy entry of the series to date, the CGI visuals are lousy, which is rather inexcusable considering this film’s sizably large budget of $110 million. It also doesn’t help that I legitimately don’t give a crap about any of these main characters for being the trigger-happy, violence-eager sociopaths that they are. Seriously, these films feel more violent in tone than The Hunger Games due to how often the main characters get into fights, and that was a series about televised battles to the death involving kids, for crying out loud. Thus, the talented cast members of these films (e.g. Shailene Woodley, Naomi Watts, Octavia Spencer, Jeff Daniels, the list goes on…) are once again wasted due to the mediocre material. And even then, it’s starting to look like even most of the main cast is starting to be bored by all of this.
But you want to know the most embarrassing thing about this film? It may very well be the last film in the franchise… in terms of ‘theatrically-released’ films, I mean. When this film was released, it was absolutely savaged by critics with a pathetic 12% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And that wasn’t the only ‘series low’ this film was hit with. While both Divergent and Insurgent managed to gross nearly $300 million each, Allegiant couldn’t even manage to break $200 million. It only grossed $179 million worldwide. Thus, it’s currently unclear if the final installment of the series, retitled Ascendant instead of Allegiant Part 2, will even see a theatrical release. It may very well get to the point where it ends up being a TV film that would then segue into a spin-off TV series. Not only that, there’s a possibility that most of the main stars, including Shailene Woodley AKA the main star of the entire franchise, aren’t even going to be returning for it. However, back in September, Woodley stated in an interview on The Today Show that this isn’t finalized yet. Still, if it does happen, talk about going out on a low note. I mean, imagine if this happened to The Hunger Games; imagine if they announced that Mockingjay Part 2 was going to be a made-for-TV film. Who knows if Jennifer Lawrence would’ve returned to play Katniss? Thankfully that didn’t happen but it could happen for Divergent. And even after all the negative things that I’ve said about these films, I’ll admit that even I feel a bit bad for those involved with this series if it ends up coming to this.
Sadly, for Gerard Butler, Gods of Egypt wasn’t the only stinker that he starred in this year. And this one was much worse.
3. LONDON HAS FALLEN
2013’s Olympus Has Fallen was one of two films that year that were basically ‘Die Hard in the White House’. The other film was Roland Emmerich’s White House Down and while both films received mixed-to-negative reviews from critics, Olympus was the more successful of the two from a financial standpoint. It earned more than twice its budget at the box office whereas White House Down did not break even despite grossing more worldwide. But, to be honest, when comparing the two, I prefer White House Down. Because even though both films are generally mindless action flicks, Emmerich’s film was at least much more self-aware about it and more lighthearted in tone. By comparison, Olympus Has Fallen tries way too hard to be dramatic and serious at times despite its ridiculous nature. Sure, it technically gives the film a bit more depth compared to White House Down but it does clash with the over-the-top nature of the action sequences. But, like I said, it was a hit, hence why we now have a sequel in the form of London Has Fallen, which transfers the action from Washington D.C. to England’s capital. And… oh boy, this one’s a rough one. Oh sure, it starts out harmless enough with some decent moments involving leads Gerard Butler, who plays the main character Mike Banning, Aaron Eckhart, who plays the President of the United States Benjamin Asher, and Angela Bassett, who plays Banning’s boss at the Secret Service, Lynne Jacobs. But then that all goes by the wayside in what is ultimately a generic and mindless action flick. The action sequences are lousy and it also doesn’t help that some of them are paired with some pretty weak CGI.
But, believe it or not, that’s not the worst thing about this film. This film’s biggest flaw is that it is one of the most culturally offensive films of the year. Released not too long after the November 2015 terrorist attacks in Paris, France, this film really makes the city of London look BAD, specifically in regards to how ineffective the city’s police force is at dealing with terrorists. Heck, some terrorists even masquerade as police officers. This film is so xenophobic that you’d swear it was written by Donald Trump. Seriously, this is a case of a film that is so oozing to the brim with patriotism that you can just put the ‘America, F*** Yeah’ song from Team America: World Police over the action and it’d have the exact same effect. I usually abstain from going political in these reviews but here I must make one comment because I feel that it needs to be said. As much as I love my country, sometimes there can be examples of ‘too much patriotism’. This is a prime example of that. And the next time I watch Olympus Has Fallen, I bet that I’ll notice more of the same sort of overblown patriotism that I didn’t notice the first time. Bottom line, this film is culturally insensitive and, for me at least, it once again reinforces the fact that I preferred Roland Emmerich’s entertaining/mindless action extravaganza White House Down over these two films that try way too hard to be emotional heavy-hitters. But, like Olympus, this film did well at the box office despite the negative reviews, meaning that we have another one of these on the way, titled Angel Has Fallen. Oh boy…
For most of the year, London Has Fallen was at the very bottom when it came to this list. But then came these final two films. And at Number 2, we have the lowest of lows in a year that saw plenty of great animated films.
2. NORM OF THE NORTH
It seems like January is usually the time of year where we get a subpar animated film. It was the case in 2014 with The Nut Job and this year, that film was Norm of the North. 2016 was a pretty great year for animated films everywhere else. Disney Animation had a one-two punch in the form of Zootopia and Moana. Pixar had a billion-dollar hit with the highly-anticipated sequel Finding Dory. And Laika Entertainment had a critically acclaimed flick on their hands with Kubo and the Two Strings. Norm of the North… has twerking polar bears and pissing lemmings. Yeah… this is pretty much one of the biggest low points in the history of animation. The animation here is mediocrely subpar to the point where it’s like something out of a direct-to-video film… from the 90’s. The story is a generic ‘save the homeland’ plot and the film is really nothing more than just a series of lame pop-cultural references, a ton of pop songs, and, again, twerking polar bears. Now, usually, when it comes to animated films, I’ll admit that I sometimes give ‘lesser’ animated films a pass if, at the very least, they’re harmless for kids. But, going off fellow film critic Chris Stuckmann’s review of the film, it looks like even kids won’t get much out of this. In his review, Chris noted that kids were getting bored at his screening and seemed relieved when the film was finally over. That is saying something…
So, what can be worse than Norm of the North, you ask? How about a completely pedestrian affair from one of the most notable personas in the film industry? Thus, my pick for the WORST film of 2016 goes to…
1. YOGA HOSERS
Kevin Smith has been a major player in the film industry since 1994. Over the years, he’s amassed a considerably large fan base thanks to many of the cult-classic films that he’s made, including his 1994 directorial debut Clerks and its 1995 prequel Mallrats (yes, Mallrats is a prequel; it’s set one day before the events of Clerks). But, nowadays, he’s arguably more known for hosting geek-related podcasts like Fatman on Batman and starring in the hit AMC show Comic Book Men, proving that he’s just as big of a geek as most of us are when it comes to things like Star Wars and Marvel and DC. The reason why I say that he’s become more known for this kind of stuff nowadays is because if his newest film Yoga Hosers proves anything, it’s that Smith is just starting to mess with us now in terms of his directorial efforts. Yoga Hosers is the second installment of a True North trilogy, in which all three films are horror films set in Canada. The first of these films was Tusk, released in 2014 and starring Justin Long as a podcast host who gets turned into a walrus by an old sailor. I haven’t seen Tusk but I’ve heard that it was mediocre. The second film of this trilogy, Yoga Hosers, centers on two characters who originally appeared briefly in Tusk; the Colleens, two high-school freshmen who work at a convenience store. The Colleens are played by Harley Quinn Smith, Kevin Smith’s own daughter, and Lily-Rose Depp, daughter of Johnny Depp. Speaking of Depp, he appears in both this and Tusk as ‘man-hunter’ Guy LaPointe.
Yoga Hosers… is one of the laziest films that I’ve ever seen in terms of directing. The plot is completely stupid. It follows these two girls as they combat a bunch of mutated Nazi bratwursts… yes, you’ve read that right, Nazi bratwursts (all of whom are played by Kevin Smith, by the way) that emerge from their victims’ rear ends. And aside from that, the whole film is nothing but jokes at the expense of Canadians, specifically the myth that when they say ‘about’, it comes out as ‘aboot’. Throw in some terrible visual effects and lame running gags and you have one hell of a poor horror comedy. The only real positive thing that I can say about the film is that, at the very least, the camaraderie between Lily-Rose Depp and Harley Quinn Smith is legit. They have been friends for years and you can at least see that in the film regardless of the nepotism on display here. But Johnny Depp on the other hand… I have absolutely no idea what’s he doing in this film. This hasn’t been a good year for him in general, namely due to a troubling divorce/domestic violence scandal, but this is easily the worst performance of his career (I’m guessing it’s the same situation with Tusk as well). In short, this is just embarrassing on all accounts… and to make matters worse, this isn’t the last of the True North trilogy. The last installment will be starting production soon; Moose Jaws, AKA ‘Jaws with a Moose’. And while, again, I haven’t seen Tusk, it seems as if these films have been going down in quality with each new film. So, given how bad Yoga Hosers turned out, I can only imagine what we’re in for with Moose Jaws.
And those are my Top 10 Worst Films of 2016. Ahh… now that was cathartic. You see, folks, this is why I do these ‘worst of’ lists first; like getting a flu shot, I do this list first just to get it over with. Now I can work on my big Top 12 list of my favorite films from this past year. Be sure to check that out in the first few weeks of the New Year!
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