Saturday, December 30, 2017

Top 10 WORST Films of 2017: Part 1 (#10-6)

Well, folks, we’re nearing the end of 2017, and in the world of film, that means one thing. Yes, the time has come to look back upon the past year and list both our favorite and least favorite films from 2017. But while most critics have already posted their Top 10 Best Films of the Year lists (some of whom even did it before they saw a certain film set in a galaxy far, far away… the nerve…), I do things a little differently here on Rhode Island Movie Corner. You see, most critics tend to release their ‘Best of the Year’ lists first before their ‘Worst of the Year’ lists. As such, the ‘Worst of’ lists always end up attracting more attention. Why? Well, that’s because here on the internet, people love to hear others rag on films a lot more than when they praise them. But as for me, I do my ‘Worst of the Year’ list first simply because I like to end the year on a good note instead of a bad one. With that in mind, don’t expect a lot of anger in these next two posts because, to be perfectly frank, I rarely get that angry at bad films nowadays. To be clear, however, this doesn’t mean that I’ll be going soft on any of the films that I’m about to discuss. And so, without further ado, the time has come for me to list my picks for the Top 10 WORST films of 2017. This is the first half of a two-part series, and today I’ll be listing films #10-6. Also, it’s worth noting that while these two posts may contain some major spoilers from the following films, I won’t be posting any Spoiler Warnings because, simply put, these aren’t films that I can recommend in any capacity.

Before we get started, however, I have one Dishonorable Mention

DISHONORABLE MENTION – CHiPS


CHiPS was a buddy cop TV series that aired on NBC from 1977 to 1983. Running for a span of 139 episodes over the course of 6 seasons (plus a made-for-television film in 1998, CHiPS ‘99), the show followed the adventures of Jon Baker (Larry Wilcox) and Francis Llewellyn Poncherello AKA Ponch (Erik Estrada), a pair of officers who worked for the California Highway Patrol. This year, the classic series was revitalized for the big-screen by writer/director Dax Shepard, who also starred in the film as Baker alongside Michael Pena as Ponch. And at the very least, the two of them do have solid chemistry when it comes to their comedic banter… it’s a shame, then, that the film boasts a rather mediocre hit-miss ratio when it comes to its humor. Granted, I don’t think that it’s as bad as another film from this year that was based off a retro TV series (which, SPOILERS, will be appearing later on in this list), but that doesn’t mean that it’s that good either. To his credit, Shepard isn’t a bad director when it comes to action sequences, as this film does boast some decent car chases; he is a noted car enthusiast after all. However, it’s clear that he’s much better off working with other writers because as is, the film is just a mediocre adaptation of an old TV series that tries a bit too hard to be a raunchy R-rated comedy. Now, for the record, I’ve never watched the original series before, but I’m pretty sure that its humor was far tamer by comparison. And on that note, believe me when I say that I’ve seen quite a lot of fans of the show be quite furious about this film due to all of the changes that it made to its source material. Heck, even my uncle was one of those people.

And now it’s time to move on to the main list… and boy, are we starting things off on a controversial note with the worst superhero film that came out of what has otherwise been one of the genre’s greatest years.

10. JUSTICE LEAGUE


I say that this is a controversial stance because, obviously, this film does have its loyal fans. But I’m sorry DCEU fans, there’s no mincing words here… they seriously dropped the ball on this one. With that said, however, let me assure you, folks, that this wasn’t like the time when I was quite hesitant about Batman v. Superman a few years prior to its release when it started to add in more characters to try and build things up to where we are now. Despite the general skepticism that was surrounding it due to the critical disdain directed towards the series’ past installments, I was genuinely rooting for this film to succeed. When I was walking out of the theater, my initial rating for this film was somewhere around 3.5/5. Sadly, though, as I was writing my review, I slowly started to realize that this rating was beginning to drop rapidly. And thus, here we are now with Justice League, hands down one of the most disappointing superhero films to come out in recent memory. The main reason why is simple… it is basically the DC equivalent of Fan4stic. Now, for the record, don’t misconstrue this as me saying that it’s as bad as Fan4stic because it really isn’t. I mean, let’s be honest folks, 99.9% of all superhero films released since 2008 are better than Fan4stic. With that said, though, both films are clearly the result of a studio trying to salvage a reportedly ‘unwatchable’ first cut of their big blockbuster release only to make things even worse because of all the boneheaded alterations that they made.

As many of you know, this was primarily the result of when director Zack Snyder was forced to step away from the film’s post-production cycle back in May after his daughter Autumn committed suicide. Thus, Joss Whedon (who, of course, is no stranger to the genre having written and directed the first two Avengers films) was brought in to supervise reshoots. However, despite numerous claims from the studio that Whedon was making a dedicated effort to match Snyder’s original directorial vision, you can clearly tell what parts of the film were handled by Whedon. This results in some severely awkward tonal shifts that try to balance humor with the more serious aspects of the plot. And while I do appreciate the effort that was made to make the film more light-hearted compared to Snyder’s previous DCEU films, most of the humor in this film is, for lack of a better word… awful. Simply put, it just isn’t as well-handled as it is in the Marvel Cinematic Universe films (and yes, I’m saying this while being fully aware of the fact that quite a lot of people have been highly critical of the MCU films for their humor). Really, if you ask me, the only two great things to come out of this film are A.) That all of the main leads do solid jobs in their respective roles while working quite well off each other and B.) Henry Cavill was finally allowed to ‘act’ like Superman even with all the shoddy CG work that was done to hide the mustache that he had grown prior to reshoots. Aside from them, however, none of the DCEU’s major supporting characters (e.g. Amy Adams’ Lois Lane and Connie Nielsen’s Queen Hippolyta) get any decent material to work with and the main villain Steppenwolf is one of the weakest villains in the history of the genre.

To be clear, though, this is not primarily Whedon’s fault. At the moment, DCEU fanboys are currently burning Whedon an effigy for all of the changes that he made to the film; and yet, may I remind you that Whedon was forced to do all of this in less than half a year! Seriously, DCEU fanboys, you try and rework a major tent-pole release in that timeframe… ain’t that easy. And, of course, it wasn’t Zack Snyder’s fault because he was waylaid by a devastating personal tragedy. In short, it was Warner Bros. who screwed up with this one by rushing it so that it could be released this year. Clearly, they should’ve pushed it back to 2018 once Snyder had to leave; and yeah, I’m well-aware that 2018 is already heavily packed when it comes to the superhero genre. Marvel’s got the next Avengers as well as Black Panther and Ant-Man and the Wasp, Fox has sequels to both X-Men and Deadpool along with The New Mutants, Sony has its Spider-Man spinoff Venom (plus an animated Spider-Man film), and DC will have Aquaman’s solo film. But even with that in mind… it still would’ve frigging helped. I mean, say what you will about Batman v Superman but when that film had to be pushed back from its original 2015 release date, it got pushed back! And as for Snyder… well, I’d hate to say it but I think that the time has come for him to step down from directing DCEU films. I’m not saying this out of spite, for the record; it’s just that, at this point, it’s clear that he’s not being given the respect from the studio that he deserves. He had to take out a whole half-hour of footage from Batman v. Superman because ‘he didn’t have James Cameron-level clout’, resulting in the film’s inferior theatrical cut, and now we have this whole debacle. And unlike BvS, it seems highly doubtful that we’ll ever see a version of this film that was more in line with Snyder’s original vision.

And if that wasn’t enough, this film is just further proof of how the DC Extended Universe’s hardcore fans make up one of the most toxic fan-bases in all of pop culture. Many of you are no doubt aware of their past incidents, namely when they tried to shut down Rotten Tomatoes after Suicide Squad was savaged by critics; needless to say, their antics have only continued since this film was released. They’ve basically become the successors to Christopher Nolan’s hardcore fans. In other words, they are completely unwavering when it comes to viewing the DCEU films as perfect masterpieces (even when they’re clearly not) while vehemently disagreeing with anyone who doesn’t think highly of these films. Now, granted, I know that I’m certainly one to talk given how big of a fan I am of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. But, at the risk of starting another fanboy war… there is a reason why Marvel Studios hasn’t hit this kind of low point yet with their film output. While they are under the Disney banner, Disney has never interfered with their film productions in the way that Warner Bros. did with Justice League. And even though there are new MCU films every year, none of them ever feel rushed. Whereas this film came out just one year after BvS, the first DCEU film to officially start establishing its franchise’s interconnectivity, the MCU didn’t get into The Avengers until five years into its run. And after that, there has always been a three-year gap between Avengers films. Most importantly, though, is the fact that while I will openly admit that I often give glowing reviews to MCU films, that doesn’t mean that I view them all as masterpieces. Still, it really is saying something when the first two-minute trailer for Avengers: Infinity War is far superior to this two-hour mess of a film.

We have another fairly disappointing release at the Number 9 spot. It’s a film that just couldn’t live up to its potential despite the involvement of one of my favorite filmmakers.

9. THE BELKO EXPERIMENT


The Belko Experiment is the brainchild of Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn, who wrote and produced it. Obviously, he didn’t direct it given his commitment to Marvel so instead, it was directed by Greg McLean. And really… this probably would’ve worked a lot better if Gunn had directed it. Under McLean’s direction, the film ends up feeling rather generic, which is a shame because it did have an interesting premise. The plot revolves around the employees of the titular Belko Industries, who find themselves trapped within their office building by a mysterious figure who demands that they kill several of their employees or else run the risk of being randomly executed by the explosives contained within the tracking devices that they’ve been implanted with. This could’ve led to an entertaining Battle Royale/Hunger Games-ish squabble in which the employees begin to turn on one another in order to survive; not to mention all the fun ways in which they could’ve used their office supplies to kill each other. However, this premise ends up being somewhat squandered as most of the deaths in this film occur by way of those in charge of the ‘experiment’ detonating the implants. And while the film’s ensemble cast is quite stacked with the likes of John Gallagher Jr, Tony Goldwyn, John C. McGinley, Michael Rooker, and Sean Gunn (the film’s biggest standout as the building’s pot-smoking cafeteria worker Marty), the large amount of characters in this film get little to no character development. Granted, you could say that this isn’t really something that you need in a film like this, but that also means that you don’t care about any of these characters in the slightest. And thus, while The Belko Experiment is by no means the worst film of this year, like Justice League it could’ve been a heck of a lot better given all of the talent that was involved.

At Number 8, we have the next installment of a series that has previously appeared on this site’s annual ‘Worst of’ list.

8. THE NUT JOB 2: NUTTY BY NATURE


In January 2014, an animated film titled The Nut Job was released in theaters. Developed in part by a Korean animation company and based off a 2005 short titled Surly Squirrel made by its director, former Disney/Pixar animator Peter Lepeniotis, it revolved around a squirrel named Surly who tries to raid a nut store in order to find him and his friends enough food to last through the winter. For an animated film released in January, The Nut Job did decently at the box-office; however, that didn’t translate to the film’s critical reception as it was straight-up savaged by most critics. And to be perfectly frank… they weren’t wrong in that regard. I mean, at its worst, it was just a mediocre animated film with a bland and often mean-spirited narrative, an odd fascination for nut-based innuendos, and repeated uses of the song ‘Gangnam Style’ (remember that viral video from 2012?). Ultimately, though, the one thing that truly killed the film was that it featured one of the most unlikable protagonists ever seen in an animated film. Despite being voiced by the talented Will Arnett, Surly the Squirrel was an inconsiderate jerk who always cared more about himself than his friends and family. Because of this terrible character, the film proved to be quite the chore to sit through, hence why it ended up taking the #6 spot in the ‘Worst of the Year’ list that I did for that year. And yet, like I said before, it did do well enough at the box-office to give its distributors enough confidence to fast-track a sequel in the form of this year’s The Nut Job 2: Nutty by Nature.

Now, surprisingly, this film proved to be a lot more tolerable compared to its predecessor. While I wouldn’t say that the film fully succeeds at it, the character of Surly isn’t as unlikable as he was in the first film. With that said, though, all of the film’s characters are still flat and one-note, and that’s even after the film’s truly random attempt at trying to have an emotional moment by delving into the origins of Surly’s friendship with his mute rat sidekick Buddy. As for the plot, it’s a lot more streamlined than it was in the first film... meaning that this film is incredibly predictable as it sees Surly and company trying to save their home from a greedy mayor who plans to turn it into an amusement park. And yes, despite the finale being set within an amusement park that proceeds to get completely destroyed by the end of it, The Nut Job 2 ends up being one of the most forgettable animated films in recent memory. Technically, it’s better than the first film due to it not being as mean-spirited, but obviously, that isn’t saying much. Really, the only good thing that I can say about this film is the fact that, at the very least, Will Arnett could fall back on his role as LEGO Batman in far superior animated films that came out during the same years as these Nut Job films. Back in 2014, we were treated to The LEGO Movie just one month after the release of the original Nut Job. And as for this year’s sequel, we already got The LEGO Batman Movie back in February. So… there’s that, at least…

The word ‘disappointing’ is going to be a key descriptor when it comes to a lot of the films that will be appearing on this list. That includes my Number 7 pick, which was arguably the most disappointing release of the summer…

7. THE MUMMY


When it comes to Universal’s Mummy films, most of my generation is primarily familiar with the trilogy of films starring Brendan Fraser that ran from 1999 to 2008. Sure, they were mostly just mindless action-adventure re-imaginings of old-school horror films from the 30’s but at the very least, they were still decently entertaining popcorn flicks (The first two, at least; the third… not so much…). But now we cut to 2017, where Universal is ready to revitalize their most famous horror franchises. How so, you ask? Why by going the Marvel route and creating its own Cinematic Universe. And while I know that some may have groaned at the fact that another attempt at a Marvel-esque Cinematic Universe was being made, it at least made sense to attempt to base it on the Universal Monsters franchises given how Universal has technically been doing this for years. Just look at films like 1943’s Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man and 1944’s House of Frankenstein; as weird as it may sound, the Universal Monsters were basically the original Cinematic Universe. And while I personally don’t have a lot of experience with the original Universal Monsters franchises, the fact that this new Mummy film would be starring one of the film industry’s top action stars, Tom Cruise, under the direction of Alex Kurtzman, co-writer of the 2009 Star Trek reboot, at least made me interested in seeing how it would turn out. However, if there’s one thing that a Tom Cruise Mummy film shouldn’t be, that would be ‘boring’… sadly, that is exactly what this film is. Overall, it attempts to be a mix between the more atmospheric horror narrative of the original 1932 Mummy film starring Boris Karloff and the more action-oriented escapades of the 1999 remake and its sequels. But while Kurtzman does do a decent job with the action sequences, the film drags for the most part due to its sluggish pacing.

And when it comes to the film’s efforts to establish its own cinematic universe (designated as the ‘Dark Universe’), that just ends up bringing along even more problems. Somehow, the film makes so much of an effort to establish this new cinematic universe and yet makes little to no progress in actually doing so, and in the process, this ends up taking greater precedence over the main plot. In other words, this film is a ‘Dark Universe’ film first and a Mummy film second. Because of this, none of the film’s characters get any sort of decent character development and the main antagonist, Princess Ahmanet, ends up being a mediocre threat, effectively stranding a cast that includes the likes of Cruise, Russell Crowe (the most engaging member of the cast as Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde), and Sofia Boutella (Ahmanet) with subpar material. By comparison, the first MCU film, Iron Man, was more focused on establishing its titular main character, and it didn’t really get into anything regarding the franchise’s future until the ‘I’m here to talk about the Avengers Initiative’ post-credits scene. This is one of the primary reasons why the Marvel Cinematic Universe has managed to flourish in the way that it did unlike other recent attempts at a Cinematic Universe; it established its characters first before putting them all together in a single film (looking at you, DCEU). And because this new reboot of The Mummy fails to follow Iron Man’s example, it was unable to kick off its prospective franchise on a good note.

To make matters worse, now it seems unlikely that this franchise will even be continuing at all because of how bad this film did with critics and audiences (though, contrary to what several reports have stated, it doesn’t feel like the film was that big of a commercial flop with over $409 million grossed at the box-office). It was supposed to be followed up by a remake of Bride of Frankenstein that was going to be directed by Bill Condon. However, that film ended up getting ‘postponed’ back in October so that more time could be spent on the script, and it’s currently unclear at the moment if the film will be made at all. It’s a shame, really, because I was genuinely optimistic about its chances of redeeming the franchise. After all, Condon is certainly no stranger to the material having directed the 1998 biopic Gods and Monsters about James Whale, director of the original Bride of Frankenstein. But alas, it seems as if the ‘Dark Universe’ has ended before it even truly began. Not too long after Bride’s postponement, Kurtzman and producer Chris Morgan decided to step away from the franchise in order to move onto other projects. It’s a sad development, for sure, because like I said before, unlike a few other proposed Cinematic Universes, a Cinematic Universe featuring the Universal Monsters did have the potential to succeed given the characters’ previous crossovers with one another. Unfortunately, though, it ultimately crashed and burned thanks to the mediocre re-imagining that was this year’s The Mummy. Suffice it to say, you’re much better off with the Brendan Fraser Mummy films.

Don’t act like you didn’t see this one coming…

6. THE EMOJI MOVIE


Yeah… some of you probably guessed that this film would end up on this list. Ever since it was first announced, The Emoji Movie immediately established itself as one of the most despised films in recent memory. And before I go any further, let me answer the one question that many of you no doubt have right now… yes, they made a film based on the colorful symbols that many of us use on our phones to send text messages, emails, etc. Whereas most people lamented the arrival of this film as a sign of Hollywood truly scraping the bottom of the barrel when it comes to new ideas, I basically just ignored this film for the most part even after the trailers started to come out. Eventually, the film came out and it subsequently became one of the worst-reviewed films of the year. And after finally watching it for myself… well, yes, I will agree that it isn’t much to talk about. It’s basically just a knockoff of Inside Out as both films focus around characters that live inside something owned by a human; instead of the characters residing inside the person’s brain, this film focuses on the emoji’s who reside inside a young teenager’s phone. The main character Gene, a ‘Meh’ emoji who finds that he’s capable of expressing multiple emotions beyond ‘meh’, then proceeds to get into some major trouble which starts to have a negative effect on his owner’s life to the point where the world of the phone is put into jeopardy. I mean, the animation isn’t terrible… if anything, it’s colorful and there aren’t really any other options when it comes to making these emoji’s sentient beings. Plus, I can even sympathize with how the director connected with this story of an emoji who breaks from the norms of society because he himself is gay. Still, the story is woefully generic as are all of its characters.

…and that’s all that I’m going to say about this film. A very short review, wouldn’t you say? Well, that’s because I feel that this film isn’t worth getting too upset about. The same can’t be said for how the internet reacted to it, however, as this is one of the prime examples in which the film fan community got incredibly worked up over a film that honestly wasn’t worth all the hubbub. I mean, really, this film’s abysmal 9% rating on Rotten Tomatoes should’ve been a clear-cut sign for most people to just ignore it. And you know what? That is exactly what I did on its opening weekend; I went to go see the film Atomic Blonde instead and, suffice it to say, it was a far better film by comparison. And that’s another thing… I swear that at times, it was almost as if the internet acted like this was the only film that was out at the time. Obviously, that wasn’t even remotely true, which then begs this question… why didn’t people just go to see other films instead? Clearly, they would’ve gotten a heck of a lot more out of films like Wonder Woman, Dunkirk, or Baby Driver (even though those films had already been out for a few weeks by the time that this came out) instead of this. And heck, despite this sole hiccup in their lineup, Sony’s film division actually had a decent 2017 thanks to the trio of hits that were Baby Driver, Spider-Man: Homecoming, and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. Thus, that’s The Emoji Movie in a nutshell for me; the reason why it’s only at the #6 spot on this list is simple. When it comes to 2017 both in and out of the world of film… quite frankly, I’ve seen worse.  

And that’s the end of Part 1 of my Top 10 Worst Films of 2017 list. Thanks for following along and be sure to check back in the next few days for Part 2, in which I’ll be listing my picks for the Top 5 worst films from this past year. What dreaded film will land the #1 spot? Stay tuned…

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