Friday, October 23, 2015

BOND MONTH: Top 10 Favorite/Least Favorite Bond 'Moments'

Over the span of 23 official Bond films, we’ve seen plenty of memorable moments involving our favorite MI6 agent, 007, from awesome action sequences to heartbreakingly tragic moments and so on and so forth. But of course with that said, there are also some moments within the franchise that were memorable for all the wrong reasons. They’re the moments that are hard to defend no matter how big of a fan you are of the franchise. So today, as part of Rhode Island Movie Corner’s second annual Bond Month, I will be listing 10 of my personal favorite and least favorite moments in the Bond franchise. I tried to keep it limited to one moment per film for variety but I’ll admit that there are at least one or two instances within these two lists where I may have at least two separate moments from one film listed just because certain films had quite a few great moments in them that made it hard to pick just one. Also, to keep things fair, this list won’t be including the classic moment when James Bond first introduces himself by name in ‘Dr. No’, and every subsequent Bond actor’s take on it, because that would just be too obvious in terms of where that would rank. So let’s just get it out of the way then, shall we? The ‘best’ moment in Bond history is the classic introduction of ‘Bond, James Bond’, first spoken by Sean Connery in ‘Dr. No’ and then repeated by all subsequent Bond lead actors. Now that we got that out of the way, let’s kick things off with my Top 10 Least Favorite Bond Moments.

10. THE OVERUSE OF SHERRIF J.W. PEPPER- LIVE AND LET DIE/THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN


To put things as nicely as I can, Louisiana Sherriff J.W. Pepper is quite the character that Bond comes across during his adventures. He first appears in ‘Live and Let Die’, where he ends up right in the middle of the speedboat chase between Bond and Kananga’s men in the Louisiana Bayou. But at the end of the day, maybe things would’ve been better off without him. Now for the record, I do sort of understand why they added him into ‘Live and Let Die’ in order to offset all of the racial stereotypes of that film. But even with that in mind, Pepper is basically the one thing that prevents me from listing that film as one of the all-time best entries of the Bond series, despite it being one of my personal favorites. Obviously meant to be the primary source of comic relief, the film continuously cuts to him during the boat chase. Not only does this drag out the already rather long action sequence even further but as many of you would agree, he also gets pretty darn grating at times with all of his yelling and racist comments. And then to make matters worse, they brought him back again for ‘The Man with the Golden Gun’. I’m not as positive towards that film compared to ‘Live and Let Die’ and, suffice it to say, the return of Pepper didn’t make it any better. Simply put, I guess you can say that Sheriff J.W. Pepper is the ‘Jar Jar Binks’ of the Bond franchise… a misguided attempt at comic relief.

9. GOOFING UP JAWS- MOONRAKER


I already talked about this when I listed Jaws in my Top 10 Bond Henchmen post so I won’t repeat myself here. Needless to say, the once highly intimidating Jaws was goofed up beyond belief in his second Bond outing and most of the time it just comes off a bit too weird, like when he first meets his girlfriend Dolly.

8. JAPANESE BOND- YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE


And the award for having one of the worst makeup jobs in film history goes to ‘You Only Live Twice’ for its failed attempt at making James Bond look Japanese. Yes in this film Bond, while undercover to investigate into the disappearances of American and Russian spacecraft, is briefly disguised as a Japanese man. But seriously, look at the picture above and tell me… does that look like a Japanese man to you? No, it looks more like a British man, who technically speaking is being played by a Scottish man. There seriously seems to have been no effort at all in trying to make look Sean Connery different other than changing his hair up a bit and Connery certainly doesn’t make any attempts to sound Japanese whatsoever. It’s funny because leading up to this part of the film there’s a scene in which Bond being prepped for his disguise. And yet, as I just noted earlier, nothing much changed in terms of Sean Connery’s appearance save for his hairstyle so ultimately that scene is entirely pointless. It’s quite amazing that no one in the film is able to see past this poor excuse for a disguise. It’s about as obvious as the many disguises that Team Rocket have worn in the ‘Pokémon’ anime but just like Ash and his friends in that show, everyone in this film seems to fall for it.

7. THE BEACH BOYS? - A VIEW TO A KILL


Taking the Number 7 spot is one of two moments on this list that were ruined by questionable sound design choices. First up is the opening sequence of ‘A View to a Kill’ in which Bond escapes from a bunch of bad guys in Siberia on skis. As far as Bond skiing sequences go, this one is just okay. It’s not terrible by any means but not particularly memorable either, although it did in, in a way, help popularize snowboarding. But then for some reason the track ‘California Girls’ by the Beach Boys (note: This version was actually a cover performed by the band Gidea Park) starts playing and it’s just… weird. It’s just like Madonna’s ‘Die Another Day’ and Jack White and Alicia Keys’ ‘Another Way to Die’ in that it just feels completely out of place for a Bond film except in this case it’s during an actual scene in the film and isn’t just a part of the opening credits. Thankfully it doesn’t last for long, about only one or two minutes or so, but it’s still a very odd way to start off a Bond film.

6. ELEPHANT JACKPOT- DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER


This was the moment that effectively made it impossible for me to take ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ seriously due to how incredibly campy it is. Now for the record I’m not saying that I don’t like the campier style Bond films because I do, with films like ‘Goldfinger’ and ‘Octopussy’ serving as prime examples of this. It’s just that some do a better job than others when it comes to executing this style, and ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ isn’t one of those films, which is a shame given that it’s directed by the same guy who did ‘Goldfinger’, Guy Hamilton. At first, it’s not too bad. I was fine with the quirky duo of Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd and I was fine with the film being primarily set in Las Vegas, which meant that this was going to be a much flashier Bond film compared to its immediate predecessors. But then we get to the scene in which Tiffany Case collects a shipment of diamonds at the Circus Casino and that’s where the film starts to go downhill for me. It ends with a quick shot of an elephant at a slot machine, where it ‘hits the jackpot’ and trumpets in celebration. I can’t really explain why but this scene just rubbed me the wrong way and after that, the film just got goofier and goofier and not in a good way. Bond drives a moon buggy, Blofeld dresses in women’s clothing, and so on and so forth. At the end of the day, ‘Diamonds are Forever’ is by no means the ‘worst’ Bond film of all-time but due to a lot of its overly goofy moments, namely the jackpot-winning elephant, it’s not really one of my favorites.      


5. DOUBLE-TAKING PIGEON- MOONRAKER


But when it comes to odd animal antics in Bond films, nothing is more infamous than the double-taking pigeon from ‘Moonraker’. The sequence in which it appears is already goofy as is, with Bond driving onto the Venice walkways in, to put it quite simply, a ‘Gondola Hovercraft’. Of course we then see a couple of reaction shots from the crowd, including a bunch of stunned onlookers, a guy looking at his drink, and of course, that pigeon. Now to be frank, this moment actually doesn’t really bother me as much as you might think. In a way, I’m much more critical of the ‘elephant at the casino’ scene from ‘Diamonds are Forever’ than I am towards this scene. Still, it’s impossible to deny that this moment is just bizarre and is a lot more infamous than the elephant scene, hence why it’s ranked higher on this list. These last two moments are the kind of things in films that make you question the thought process that went into creating these sequences. What’s next? Bond swinging through the trees and yelling like Tarzan? Oh wait…

4. OLD ROGER MOORE- A VIEW TO A KILL


Roger Moore starred in the most ‘official’ Bond films out of the 6 actors who have played Bond for Eon Productions with, fittingly enough, 7 appearances as 007. However, by the time production started on his final Bond film, ‘A View to a Kill’, he was 57 years old. He was so old that he ended up learning that he was even older than the mother of his co-star, Tanya Roberts. That alone was a major warning sign that he was way too old for the part. As a result, scenes of him seducing his female co-stars are incredibly awkward and uncomfortable because of it. Not only that, but Moore is shown to have aged considerably since ‘Octopussy’. Apparently he had a facelift done prior to production and needless to say it’s clearly noticeable. Because of his age, most of the action sequences in the film are clearly being done by his stunt double and the film makes little effort to cover this up. Now let me be clear; Roger Moore was an excellent James Bond. He was both charming and witty, effectively creating a new take on the character that may not have been completely in line with the original Ian Fleming novels but was iconic nevertheless. But clearly Moore should have stepped down from the role at a much earlier point in time so that it wouldn’t get to the point where he just didn’t look convincing in the role of Bond anymore because that’s what exactly what happened with his final James Bond film.

3. CGI-SURFING BOND- DIE ANOTHER DAY


Yes it’s the moment that pretty much single-handedly nearly destroyed the Bond franchise until the series was rebooted in 2006 with ‘Casino Royale’. It’s the infamous sequence from ‘Die Another Day’ when Bond surfs on a wave caused by a melting glacier. Now for the record folks, I’m not that big of a critic when it comes to CGI so I’m not necessarily ‘as bothered’ by this as many other people on the internet are. But still, it’s impossible to deny the absolute ridiculousness of the sequence and the fact that it happened in, of all things, a Bond film. It’s crazy that a series that has always been known for practical stunt-work went against that in favor of CGI action for this particular film. It’s very much clear that Brosnan isn’t actually surfing that wave and that Bond is just a digital double in any shot that’s not a close-up. Seriously, couldn’t they have just filmed this scene in like a soundstage or something? I’m pretty sure they could’ve just filmed this entire scene on the 007 Stage or somewhere just to make it look halfway decent. But ultimately they didn’t and as a result, it’s one of the most infamous moments in Bond franchise history which definitely wasn’t a good thing considering that this film was meant to honor the franchise’s 40th anniversary.

2. SLIDE-WHISTLE CAR JUMP- THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN


The reason why this sequence from ‘The Man with the Golden Gun’ is as high up as it is on the list, even going as far as topping the infamous surfing scene from ‘Die Another Day’, is because if it wasn’t for one simple element of this scene, this would actually be amongst the series’ best moments. The sight of Bond’s car in a 360 degree spin as it jumps across two ramps is a pretty damn awesome stunt. So why then, some of you might ask, is this is a ‘bad’ moment? Because some moron thought it was a good idea to add a slide-whistle sound effect. This would be the first of two instances in the Bond franchise when an action sequence is marred by a terrible sound design choice, the other being the aforementioned implementation of the song ‘California Girls’ by The Beach Boys into the opening sequence of ‘A View to a Kill’. But whereas that sequence is by no means one of the best sequences in franchise history, this car jumping stunt is amazing because at the time it was considered impossible to pull off. It’s too bad then that the scene ended up getting ruined by the use of a slide whistle. Why? Well, I have no idea and I haven’t found anything on the internet that explains why this decision was made. Thankfully there are some videos online that remove this sound effect but unfortunately, the film itself hasn’t gotten a ‘George Lucas Special Edition’ update so we’re still stuck with this oddity in sound design that puts a major damper on one of the series’ best stunts.

1. NEVER FINDING CLOSURE FOR THE DEATH OF TRACY BOND- DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER/FOR YOUR EYES ONLY


My pick for the ‘Worst’ moment in franchise history isn’t a questionable sound choice or an infamous sequence predominantly done with CGI. Instead, the top spot goes to what is, in my opinion, the series’ biggest missed opportunity; a proper conclusion to the storyline that was set up at the end of one of the best Bond films of all-time, ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’. Of course, as we all know, the film ended with the tragic death of James Bond’s first wife Tracy by Blofeld and Irma Bunt just a few minutes after the two were married. But despite the possibility of Bond seeking vengeance against the two for his wife’s death, as he did in Ian Fleming’s immediate follow-up to ‘OHMSS’, ‘You Only Live Twice’, the series has never really done this idea justice. Obviously one of the main reasons for this was due to the fact that the series had already adapted ‘You Only Live Twice’ just two years earlier, albeit under a much different plot. But then you also have to take into account the fact that the film’s Bond, George Lazenby, left the franchise after just one film. I’ve heard rumors that the filmmakers were considering reshooting the final scene with Sean Connery when he returned to the role of Bond for ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ but obviously that never came to fruition. Also, Ilse Steppat, the actress who played Irma Bunt, the one who was firing the gun that killed Tracy, sadly passed away in December of 1969, so the character ended up getting cut.

So ultimately, the opening sequence of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ implied that Bond was going after Blofeld to avenge Tracy’s death. But ‘implied’ is the key word here because it’s never explicitly stated that this is what’s happening. And ultimately, the fact that Connery is back as Bond makes me believe that this was not meant to be following up on its predecessor’s ending. The closest the series got to ‘finishing’ this storyline was with ‘For Your Eyes Only’. It opens with a particularly touching moment in which Bond visits Tracy’s grave, which then leads to him basically defeating Blofeld for good by dropping him into a smoke stack. But here’s the thing… it’s only implied that the person Bond kills during this sequence is Blofeld because, due to legal issues with Kevin McClory, the filmmakers couldn’t actually refer to him by name in the film. And even if it was Blofeld, the way he goes out is a laughably mediocre way to kill off a character like Blofeld. Thankfully, Eon recently re-acquired the rights to use Blofeld and Spectre and obviously, the next Bond film will be re-introducing the organization. Because of this, as sacrilegious as it may sound to a lot of people, I actually want to see them remake ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ if only so that they could do the storyline of Bond and his wife Tracy proper justice.

AND NOW MY TOP 10 FAVORITE BOND MOMENTS

10. HONEY RYDER’S FIRST APPEARANCE- DR. NO


Kicking off the Top 10 list is not only one of the most famous moments in franchise history but cinema history as well, as Ursula Andress’ Honey Ryder emerges from the water in a white bikini singing ‘Under the Mango Tree’. Ultimately though, the reason why this scene is only at the #10 spot is because while it is undoubtedly iconic as far as the Bond franchise is concerned, Honey Ryder doesn’t actually do that much in the film compared to other Bond girls that came after her. She doesn’t appear until the film’s about halfway over and despite having a backstory where her father was killed while on Crab Key, the island of the titular Dr. No, ultimately she just ends up being the ‘damsel in distress’ for Bond to save. Still, it’s hard to deny the impact that this scene had on both the franchise and the film industry as one of the most beautiful women in the world at that time strode onto the scene in her sultry get-up, setting the standard that would define all future Bond girls to come. Oh yeah and that ‘sultry get-up’ ended up boosting bikini sales at the time and sold for about £35,000 when it was put up for auction in 2001. It’s that iconic.

9. BOND CONSOLES VESPER- CASINO ROYALE


There were a lot of great moments in Daniel Craig’s first Bond film, ‘Casino Royale’, making it rather hard for me to limit it to the two that ultimately made it into this list. The first of these two moments isn’t an action sequence but instead a nice little romantic scene involving Bond and Vesper Lynd. This scene takes place after Bond and Vesper dispatch a few assassins who were trying to kill Le Chiffre. After the two return to their room and Bond cleans up a bit, he finds Vesper sitting in the shower, visibly shaken by what had just gone down, unlike Bond who has obviously been in situations like this before. For what can ostensibly be referred to as a ‘shower scene’, this sequence is in no way sexual, to the point where Daniel Craig vetoed the idea of Vesper appearing only in her underwear. This scene might have turned out differently in an earlier Bond film but here it comes off as a much more emotional and romantic moment between these two growing lovers that also works well with Craig’s more vulnerable/emotionally-driven Bond. Backed by one of the best tracks from David Arnold’s score, simply titled ‘Vesper’, it’s a scene that one usually wouldn’t expect from a James Bond film but is handled perfectly.

8. BOND VS. GRANT- FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE


Now we go back to one of the earliest action sequences of the franchise; the thrilling fight sequence between Bond and assassin Red Grant onboard the Orient Express. I won’t go into too much detail over this scene as I basically already talked about it earlier this month when I listed Grant as one of the series’ best henchmen. To reiterate what I stated in that post, the sequence had great build-up leading into it, with Grant, who has been tailing Bond around Istanbul for the majority of the film, going undercover and posing as ‘Agent Nash’ to gain Bond’s trust. Then after a while, he gains the upper hand, drugging Tatiana and subduing Bond. After revealing to Bond SPECTRE’s plan to have him steal the Lektor for them, Bond is able to trick Grant into opening his booby-trapped attaché case full of tear gas, which then leads into their fight onboard the train, ultimately culminating with Bond defeating Grant by strangling him with his own garrote. It’s a well-directed and well-edited sequence that works incredibly well around the limitations of the enclosed space of Bond and Tatiana’s sleeping car. Simply put, it may have been from one of the earliest of Eon’s Bond films but it’s still one of the series’ best fight scenes.

7. TANK CHASE THROUGH ST. PETERSBURG- GOLDENEYE


James Bond in a tank… need I say more?

6. REMOTE-CONTROLLED CAR CHASE- TOMORROW NEVER DIES


The Bond franchise has seen quite a lot of great car chases over the years, from the aforementioned car-tank chase through St. Petersburg in ‘GoldenEye’ to the on land and subsequently underwater chase sequence in ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’. But if I had to pick my favorite car chase from this series, it would have to be the one from ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’, in which Bond escapes from Elliot Carver’s henchmen in a parking garage in Hamburg, Germany. What makes this sequence so special is that Bond’s car, a BMW 750i, is remote-controlled, allowing him to drive around the garage from the backseat. At one point, he even jumps out of the car, remotely drives it up to the top of the parking garage, and then off of the roof where it oh so gently lands in the middle of, fittingly enough, a car-rental office. Of course the car comes with other accessories as well, such as a rear-bumper caltrop dispenser and a tear-gas/electric shock security system to prevent anyone else from using it, but ultimately the coolest part of this car is the remote-control system. ‘Tomorrow Never Dies’ may have been rather by-the-numbers as far as Bond films are concerned, but it at least has the benefit of having one hell of a car chase sequence.

5. THE GOLDEN GIRL- GOLDFINGER


Following in the footsteps of Ursula Andress’ iconic entrance in ‘Dr. No’ is another classic moment of both Bond and cinema history; the sight of a girl completely covered in gold paint from head to toe. It happens right at the beginning of the film, when Bond is in Miami Beach investigating bullion dealer Auric Goldfinger. He comes across Goldfinger’s assistant, Jill Masterson, and after the two of them prevent Goldfinger from cheating at gin rummy, they end up in bed together. But then Bond is knocked out by a mysterious figure in a bowler hat (AKA Oddjob) and when he comes to, he finds Jill completely covered in gold paint and dead from ‘epidermal suffocation’. Now many of you have probably heard the internet myth that Shirley Eaton, who played Jill, died during the filming of that scene due to asphyxiation from the gold paint. But, as proven by the fact that Eaton is still alive, obviously this wasn’t true. That and it’s also been proven that you can’t really die from being covered in gold paint. This moment was even re-interpreted in ‘Quantum of Solace’ when agent Fields is drowned in oil, though ultimately that scene was nowhere near as iconic. Needless to say, the first shot of Jill covered in gold paint is a striking image that has defined the Bond franchise for many years.

4. CHASE THROUGH MADAGASCAR- CASINO ROYALE


It was hard to pick just one of the many great action sequences from ‘Casino Royale’ for this list. I could’ve gone with the black-and-white pre-credits sequence, the insane Aston Martin car crash where it flips seven times (which actually set a Guinness World Record), or the final shootout inside a crumbling building in Venice culminating in Vesper’s death. Hell, I could’ve even gone with the scene in which Bond is tortured by Le Chiffre if solely due to how excruciating it is for any male viewer to see Bond whacked in the nuts multiple times. But, ultimately I decided to go with the first ‘major’ action sequence in the film in which Bond pursues a bomb maker named Mollaka through Madagascar, which ends up taking them through a construction site and comes to a conclusion at an embassy, where Bond ends up shooting Mollaka, even though it’s against his orders, and escapes by causing an explosion. After all of the CGI-laden action sequences of ‘Die Another Day’, it was so refreshing to see the series return to its roots when it came to doing all of its major action sequences practically. It also did a nice job in establishing the grittier side of Craig’s Bond, which really helped up the tension of the entire sequence as it does in many other sequences in the film. This, along with the amazing pre-credits sequence, helped immediately prove how great of a job Daniel Craig would do in the role of Bond after all of the backlash that came from his initial casting.

3. SKI JUMP- THE SPY WHO LOVED ME


What more can be said about this classic moment from the pre-credits sequence of ‘The Spy Who Loved Me’? The shot of Bond ski jumping off of a mountain in the Alps (technically the scene was shot at Mount Asgard in Canada but that’s beside the point) and opening his parachute to reveal a Union Jack canopy is a quintessential Bond moment that had audiences cheering when it was first released in theaters. Admittedly it almost led to the death of stuntman Rick Sylvester when one of his skis clipped the chute, which could’ve prevented it from opening, but thankfully that didn’t happen and as a result, this was a great start to what would be one of the all-time greatest Bond films.

2. CHASE THROUGH THE LONDON UNDERGROUND- SKYFALL


‘Skyfall’ was another tough film to crack when it came to picking the ‘best’ moment from it because there are so many to choose from. I seriously could make a Top 10 list solely consisting of moments from this film alone; the pre-credits sequence, the beautiful title sequence (which of course I talked about two weeks ago), the darkly lit fight sequence between Bond and Patrice, the first appearance of Raoul Silva, the first scene between Bond and Q, the finale at Skyfall (and yes I’ve heard all of the comparisons to ‘Home Alone), the death of M… I could go on and on. But in the end I decided to go with the chase sequence involving Bond and Silva through the London Underground as the latter escapes from MI6 custody and heads to M’s public inquiry in order to kill her. Bond chases him throughout the London Underground, with the help of Q back at MI6 headquarters, and at one point during the chase, Silva blows up part of the Underground which results in a train crashing into the tunnel that Bond is currently in. It all culminates in a shootout at the inquiry that involves a lot of the film’s main characters; Bond, Silva, M, Mallory, Moneypenny, etc.  


Now some nitpickers out there will no doubt point out that Silva’s plan on a whole seemed a bit too ridiculous, like how he had to have known when the train would be coming so that it would crash down into the tunnel at the right time or that M would be at an inquiry. But quite frankly I don’t care because it’s a Bond film; it’s not like something as ridiculous as this hasn’t happened before in these films (CGI glacier surfing, anyone?). I’ve stated before that Silva is sort of like the Joker, and this scene is very much inspired by the scene from ‘The Dark Knight’ in how Silva manages to outwit his adversaries every step of the way. The whole sequence itself is highly thrilling from beginning to end. It’s cool to see Bond partake in a chase sequence through London, and it even features a few bits of humor that, although a staple of the franchise, have been rather absent from the Craig era of the franchise, like when the random citizen remarks that Bond is ‘keen to get home’ when he leaps onto a train as it leaves the station and the moment right after that where Bond has to repeat himself when he asks the stunned train operator to ‘open the door’. The build-up to the shootout at the inquiry is also incredible, with M’s reading of a poem by Tennyson backed by one of Thomas Newman’s best tracks from the film’s score. All in all, this is just one hell of a well-done chase sequence from one of the best James Bond films of all-time… maybe even the best Bond film period.

1. THE DEATH OF TRACY BOND- ON HER MAJESTY’S SECRET SERVICE


Perhaps it’s only fitting that I top both my personal favorite and least favorite Bond moments lists with points that relate to the finale of one of the series’ greatest, and in some cases a bit underrated’ efforts, ‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’; the death of Tracy Bond. In the worst of list, I talked about how the series never really followed up on this ending, in other words have Bond get revenge against Blofeld and Irma Bunt for the death of his wife. There were moments in the openings of ‘Diamonds Are Forever’ and ‘For Your Eyes Only’ which seemingly tried to tie up this loose end but quite frankly they weren’t handled very well. But as for the death of Tracy itself, there’s no denying that it is easily the saddest moment in the history of the Bond franchise. Even if you aren’t a Bond fan, this is still one of the most heartbreaking finales in film history. Everything seemed good for Bond and Tracy after they were married. Now that they had ‘all the time in the world’, they were ready to start their new lives together. But then, in come Blofeld and Irma Bunt to screw all of that up, proving that Bond will never be able to truly live a normal life. Many have criticized George Lazenby for being too wooden in his first and only turn as Bond but that’s not the case for the scene in which he tearfully tells a police officer that “It’s quite all right, really. She’s having a rest. We’ll be going on soon. There’s no hurry, you see. We have all the time in the world”.


NEXT WEEK: I’ll be ranking all 6 of Eon’s Bond leads, from Sean Connery to Daniel Craig.

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