Top 25 Favorite Episodes of 'SpongeBob SquarePants'

When it comes to some of my all-time favorite cartoons, easily one of the best is ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’. Created by marine biologist/animator Stephen Hillenburg in 1999, ‘SpongeBob’ has since gone on to become the flagship show of Nickelodeon and is currently now in its ninth season. For those who are unfamiliar with the show, it centers on the titular SpongeBob (voiced by Tom Kenny), a cheerful and optimistic but also fairly naïve yellow sea sponge who lives in the underwater city of Bikini Bottom where he has many fun adventures with his friends, which include his best friend Patrick Star, his grumpy neighbor Squidward Tentacles, and many more. In my opinion, this is the quintessential show of my generation. As a kid, this was easily one of my favorite shows ever and even though I’m now older and technically past the age where I should be watching cartoons, I still find myself endlessly quoting this show all the time… and that really gives you a great idea of how this show has such a long-lasting appeal with its excellent comedic writing, colorful animation (even with the occasional incredibly weird and detailed imagery that pops up from time to time), and memorable characters. Yes, ‘SpongeBob’ is quite frankly one of the best shows of the 21^st century… well, the first few seasons at least…

Yes, similar to other animated shows like ‘Family Guy’ and ‘The Simpsons’, ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’ has been in quite a decline in recent years, specifically after the release of the first movie (a review of that is also on the way, for the record). And the main reason for this is sadly quite simple; the writing has become very stale as it’s clear that the writers have really run out of good material for this show to the point where sometimes they even rehash old concepts and characters. Not only that, but most of the main characters have started to become fairly annoying as a result of the writers overplaying their distinct characteristics, like SpongeBob’s annoyingness and Patrick’s stupidity just to name a few examples. I’m also now very aware of the writers having the tendency to promise big things when it comes to ‘special’ episodes only for those episodes ultimately being unable to live up to the hype. Now let me just make this clear in that I haven’t been watching a lot of the newer episodes in recent years but I’m aware of some of the more infamous episodes of the series, like ‘Stuck in the Wringer’ and ‘The Splinter’. So in short, I’m hopeful that the new SpongeBob movie, ‘Sponge Out of Water’, is going to at least be a step up in quality from what we’ve gotten from the show in recent years. However, I’m rather cautious about it mainly due to the fact that most of it is going to be done with 3-D computer animation instead of the traditional 2-D animation that the show is known for.

Still, in honor of the impending release of ‘Sponge Out of Water’, today I’m honoring one of my favorite shows of all time with a Top 10 list of my personal favorite episodes of ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’… actually, you know what, forget that… it’s not just a Top 10 list. Instead, I’m doing a Top 25 list. Why? Because that’s how good of a show this is. Now for the record, when I mean ‘episodes’, I mean the 11-minute segments and not the pairs of segments that run during every half-hour timeslot. Also, I’m just going to put this out there, yes this list is mostly consisting of episodes from the first three seasons of the show, that being the series’ initial run before the first movie. Sure it may seem like I’m a little biased but as many of you already know this show really hasn’t been that good recently and in all seriousness the best episodes of the series really did come from its early run before the movie came out. And of course, this is all just my opinion so if you don’t see one of your favorites on here, you’ll know why and of course, because there are so many great episodes of the show I do want to keep this list fairly condensed to a certain number so admittedly that might result in some of the most popular episodes not making the cut.

So, now that I’ve gotten my fairly long intro out of the way, here are my Top 25 personal favorite episodes of ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’. But first, of course, let’s check out my honorable mentions and I do have quite a few; 10 in fact…

HONORABLE MENTIONS

AS SEEN ON TV

AKA what happens when fame goes to SpongeBob’s head when he appears on TV, even though it’s just a commercial for the Krusty Krab and you don’t even see his face during it.

NASTY PATTY

Talk about a fairly dark plot; SpongeBob and Mr. Krabs think that they’re being scammed by a fake health inspector so they try and kill him with a disgusting Krabby Patty and it seems that they succeed… too bad that health inspector is actually not a phony.

PRESSURE

SpongeBob and Sandy start to get competitive over who’s better; land creatures or sea creatures. Squidward, Patrick, and Mr. Krabs also end up getting involved as well and it ends with the four sea creatures going up to dry land, resulting in Sandy having to then save their butts when they run afoul of some ‘locals’ (seagulls).

PRE-HIBERNATION WEEK

Sandy ends up bringing SpongeBob along to do some extreme sports and when SpongeBob finds that he can’t handle it anymore, he opts to go into hiding. They even have the rock band Pantera do the theme music for the episode and it, like the stuff Sandy and SpongeBob do in this episode, is EXTREME!!!

THE FRY COOK GAMES

Yep, in SpongeBob, there’s an event called ‘The Fry Cook Games’ which is basically the fast food employee equivalent of the Olympics… and here SpongeBob and Patrick find themselves as rivals pinned against one another by the original fast food rivals Mr. Krabs and Plankton.

IMITATION KRABS

Of course, one of the common plot threads of the show is Mr. Krabs’ business rival Plankton’s attempts to steal the formula to the Krabby Patty. This is easily one of his most memorable plans as he builds a robot version of Mr. Krabs and tries to fool SpongeBob into giving him the secret Krabby Patty formula. I mean sure you’d have to be an idiot to fall for that robot suit (then again SpongeBob isn't really that smart either so yeah...) but it’s another memorable episode nevertheless.

MERMAID MAN AND BARNACLE BOY: EPISODES 1-5

I decided to just group together the first five installments of this ‘series’ of episodes, in which SpongeBob and Patrick get to meet their heroes, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy (a parody of Batman and Robin; heck they even got Adam West and Burt Ward from the 60’s Batman series to voice the younger versions of Mermaid and Barnacle Boy), in one spot instead of just listing them all separately. They’re all pretty memorable, starting off with the first episode where SpongeBob and Patrick annoy the superhero duo in the hopes of getting them out of retirement. Then that’s followed by the ‘sequel’, in which SpongeBob gets to tag along with them after winning a contest. The best of the quintet might just be the third one, where SpongeBob and Patrick accidentally awaken MM and BB’s arch-nemesis Man Ray (excellently voiced by John Rhys-Davies) and try to turn him into a good person. The fourth episode, where SpongeBob finds MM’s utility belt and accidentally shrinks all of Bikini Bottom, is memorable too but admittedly it’s probably my least favorite of the five. In contrast, my personal favorite is the fifth one, where BB actually becomes a bad guy when he feels that he’s been ridiculed for being a sidekick for too long. SpongeBob and the gang end up becoming superheroes themselves… but it doesn’t go too well.

TEXAS

The key thing to take from this episode; don’t mess with someone from Texas, especially if that person is a land squirrel living in the ocean who at one point sings a song and at one point in that song has the voice of country music artist Junior Brown. Because you if make fun of Texas in front of her face, she’s going to get you!

THE CHAPERONE

Here’s a pretty fun little episode of SpongeBob trying to act cool (more specifically ‘long, tan, and handsome’) when he volunteers to be Mr. Krabs’ daughter Pearl’s date to her prom (and yes, Mr. Krabs has a whale for a daughter… I’m just as confused as you are, and to my knowledge they’ve yet to address this on the show).

PLANKTON!

Finally, we have the very first episode to feature the 1% evil, 99% hot gas filled Plankton, as he takes control of SpongeBob via mind control to force him to hand over the Krabby Patty formula… and of course he still ends up failing at it. Also, did you know that seaweed is made of 50% sea and 50% weed… boy a lot of our favorite cartoons had some really adult jokes that we never really got until we were adults.

TOP 25

For the record, I’m not actually going to list these episodes; instead I’m just going to name them in chronological order (according to the internet, despite the fact that some of them are actually a little out of order on Wikipedia… just roll with it, folks).

TEA AT THE TREEDOME

I know some of you might be wondering what about the very first episode, ‘Help Wanted’, but unfortunately it just missed the cut. But as for this episode, it’s a fun little ‘fish out of water’ story (both figuratively and literally) when SpongeBob first meets Sandy Cheeks, a land squirrel from Texas living underwater in a tree dome. Sandy invites him over for tea but SpongeBob soon realizes he can’t survive without any water. My favorite scene of the episode is when SpongeBob, who has already dried up quite a bit due to the lack of water, starts looking at a vase full of ‘ice cold water’ that Sandy has put some flowers into. He stares at it for a little thinking to himself that he doesn’t need it… and then after a quick moment of silence, he yells out, ‘I NEED IT!!’ and then chugs all of the water from that vase. Thankfully by the end of the episode, SpongeBob and Patrick, who for the duration of the episode helped SpongeBob be ‘fancy’ (which just amounted to him holding his pinky finger up in the air) are given water-filled helmets so that they can probably stay in the tree dome without drying up. All in all, it’s just a classic episode. And speaking of classics…

RIPPED PANTS

If you ask me, the best pairing of episodes is ‘Bubblestand’ and ‘Ripped Pants’, which are easily two of the most iconic episodes of the entire series (and yes, like ‘Help Wanted’, ‘Bubblestand’ just barely missed the cut). In this episode, SpongeBob starts to get jealous when Sandy starts hanging out with Larry the Lobster. He then tries to act as cool as Larry but ends up embarrassing himself when he accidentally rips his pants, hence the title. However, when SpongeBob realizes that everyone else is amused by this, he tries to capitalize on it and ultimately it ends up backfiring when everyone gets bored by it. Ultimately, he realizes his mistake and amends his relationship with Sandy after performing a memorable musical number, ‘Ripped Pants’, along with three other ‘beach losers’, including a female fish who didn’t put on any sunscreen, a male fish who accidentally got sand in his buns (burger buns, for the record), and a whale who was forgotten about after getting buried in the sand. This episode has some solid messages, including the idea to not try too hard to impress someone by being something you’re not and that a joke can only run so far before it starts to get old. That’s why ‘Ripped Pants’ is one of the most famous, and best, episodes of the entire series.

PICKLES

I just love this episode for its great underdog storyline where SpongeBob finds himself having to regain his confidence when he makes a major mistake. One day at the Krusty Krab, SpongeBob makes a Krabby Patty for the incredibly picky Bubble Bass who, after eating it, claims that SpongeBob forgot the pickles. This results in SpongeBob losing his confidence as he finds that he starts to forget how to make a Krabby Patty. And not only that but he also starts to forget how to do pretty much everything else as well, from being in the proper position to go to bed to mixing up his words when he speaks. It’s only with help from Mr. Krabs that SpongeBob finally remembers how to make a Krabby Patty as he gets back at Bubble Bass the next day at work and there’s a pretty fun reveal in regards to how Bubble Bass tried to fool him into thinking he forgot the pickles by sticking the pickles underneath his tongue. All in all, this is a great episode with lot of visual humor when we see SpongeBob start to get really confused during certain scenes while at the same time also giving us a great story of motivation and confidence.

HALL MONITOR

Some of the best scenarios from the series came whenever SpongeBob naively thinks he’s helping people when in reality he’s not, and there’s no better example of this than ‘Hall Monitor’. In this episode, SpongeBob is chosen as the hall monitor of the day while at Boating School. However, he ends up making an extremely long speech that goes on for the whole day of class meaning that he’s unable to do any Hall Monitor related things. Feeling sorry for him, Mrs. Puff lets him wear the uniform for the rest of the day and SpongeBob then goes out into the city acting as the Hall Monitor… but this results in chaos from his actions, including causing multiple traffic accidents while acting as a traffic guard and breaking into people’s homes when in reality he’s trying to ‘warn them’ about leaving their windows open. This results in him being labeled as a ‘maniac’ by the people of Bikini Bottom but SpongeBob doesn’t realize this and thinks that there’s another ‘maniac’ causing trouble. The best scene of this episode is when SpongeBob thinks he’s being followed by the Maniac when Patrick (who helps SpongeBob out on the case) spots him but of course in reality it’s Patrick looking at SpongeBob the whole time.

PIZZA DELIVERY

Ah, this one’s a classic; SpongeBob and Squidward head out on delivery for the Krusty Krab when someone calls in ordering a pizza despite the fact that they don’t serve pizza, nor do they deliver for that matter. However, they end up getting trapped in the middle of nowhere resulting in them trying to find a way back, all the while Squidward attempts to steal the pizza from SpongeBob and have it for himself. By the way, this episode also has one of the biggest assholes to ever come out of animation in the form of the customer who ordered the pizza. When SpongeBob and Squidward finally reach his house, he actually doesn’t accept the pizza just because they didn’t bring him a drink that he ordered. So you mean to tell me that he’s so obsessed about getting his drink that he doesn’t pay for his pizza that he ordered, despite the fact that he probably has something else he can have at home for a drink not to mention that he lives in the ocean… what an asshole! Well, thankfully Squidward does not have any of his BS and just slams the pizza in his face ‘on the house’. All in all, despite the jackass customer, ‘Pizza Delivery’ is a very well-written episode and full of memorable moments.

Seriously tough, this guy... total prick!

SANDY’S ROCKET

Like ‘Hall Monitor’, this is another fun episode where SpongeBob and Patrick don’t realize the trouble they’re causing. In this episode, Sandy is building a rocket to go to the moon and after a whole lot of begging, she allows SpongeBob to tag along. However, the night before they head out, Patrick asks SpongeBob if Sandy’s rocket is ‘alien-proof’, despite SpongeBob being assured by Sandy that there are no aliens. Just to be sure, Patrick and SpongeBob head to the rocket to ‘clean’ it with ‘alien repellent’ but end up accidentally starting the rocket and they head off into space. However, they don’t end up landing on the moon and land back in Bikini Bottom but because they don’t realize this, they think they’re actually on the moon and that all of their friends are actually aliens in disguise resulting in them capturing everyone in Bikini Bottom. It’s a fun episode with great buildup and a hilarious payoff when SpongeBob actually does land on the moon thinking he’s back in Bikini Bottom and then finally realizing what just happened.

F.U.N.

In this episode, SpongeBob finally starts to feel sorry for Plankton after his numerous failed attempts at stealing the Krabby Patty formula. So, he starts to hang out with Plankton and the two actually do become friends. However, Mr. Krabs tries to prove to SpongeBob that Plankton’s fooling him, which of course he is but for a while SpongeBob, as usual, naively doesn’t believe Mr. Krabs. This was another fun little episode and it was cool to see the usually mean-spirited Plankton look like a nice guy for a while, even if in the end it was all just an act that he was putting on. And yes, that ‘F.U.N.’ song that SpongeBob and Plankton sing is catchy as hell.

ARRGH!

Argh… we got ourselves a pirate-themed episode here, me mateys! Okay, don’t worry, I’m done talking pirate. Anyway, in this episode, SpongeBob and Patrick end up getting recruited by Mr. Krabs to go on a treasure hunt after they had convinced him to play a treasure hunt board game with them one day. This episode has such a great payoff after its buildup; SpongeBob and Patrick learn that the map Mr. Krabs has been using is their board game, they actually do find the treasure, get into an argument over who gets the gold, with Mr. Krabs obviously wanting it all to themselves, and ultimately they end up waking the real owner of the treasure, the Flying Dutchman, who gives SpongeBob and Patrick TWO GOLD DOUBLOONS (!) but Mr. Krabs only gets a PLASTIC (!) treasure chest. By the way, am I the only one who for the longest time thought that the word said by the background voice when Mr. Krabs gets the plastic treasure chest was LUCKY instead of PLASTIC? Anyone? Ah well, moving on…

ROCK BOTTOM

A whole lot of trial and error occurs in this classic episode, where SpongeBob and Patrick end up taking the wrong bus and wind up in the deeper part of the ocean in a place called ‘Rock Bottom’. Patrick ends up getting a bus back but SpongeBob is unable to get the same bus so the whole episode is about him trying to get back home but a lot of his attempts end up backfiring. Like in one scene, he goes to get a candy bar from a nearby vending machine but the bus comes and leaves just as he is pulling it out from the machine; there’s even some really funny imagery where we see the bus basically ‘taunting’ SpongeBob as it keeps going back and forth in place whenever he goes to reach for the candy bar… and then to top it all off, some random fish ends up taking the candy bar because SpongeBob didn’t grab it when he tried to get to the bus. This episode also really does a good job at establishing a fairly creepy atmosphere in Rock Bottom, which makes sense seeing how it’s a location that is deeper down in the ocean.

SOMETHING SMELLS

Ah, here’s another classic one (and yes, I know I’ve been saying that a lot during this list, but again, that just shows how great of a show this is). One day, SpongeBob decides to make an ice cream sundae but finds that he doesn’t have any of the proper ingredients. So, instead he makes a sundae out of ketchup, onions, and a moldy peanut plant, which as you may have guessed, results in him having extremely bad breath. So whenever he tries to talk to somebody, they end up running away from him. It’s so bad that not only does the mail-fish actually break apart to reveal two other fish under him but even a building flees as a result of SpongeBob’s breath. Patrick tries to help cheer him up and also ends up having some of SpongeBob’s ‘special sundae’ as well. This episode also has some truly iconic moments in it, including the one fish that makes quite the disgusted face (DEUUEAUGH!), which was so popular that it’s been translated into other languages, and Patrick’s classic story about an ugly barnacle that was so ugly, everyone died; The End! (J)

DYING FOR PIE

You know sometimes you just got to wonder where some of the scenarios of these episodes come from. Like in this one, for example, Squidward buys a pie for SpongeBob in honor of Employee Brotherhood Day. However, it turns out that these pies are actually bombs from a bomb factory… they’re bombs!! When SpongeBob apparently eats the ‘pie bomb’, Squidward, feeling bad for being responsible for SpongeBob’s seemingly inevitable death, seeks to keep SpongeBob happy in his final hours. Seriously, that’s the plot of this episode, folks. Quite a weird and disturbing premise, but still very funny if only because of how strange it is. It gets even better after the reveal where SpongeBob tells Squidward that he actually didn’t have any of that ‘pie bomb’ and they accidentally cause a massive explosion when they drop it. Like I said, this was a fairly weird episode.

SQUIDVILLE

In this episode, Squidward is unable to deal with SpongeBob and Patrick’s antics anymore so he moves away to a private community exclusively for octopuses, the titular Squidville, where everyone looks, talks, and acts the same. They even have the same houses modeled from an Easter Island head. This episode is a great satire on the concept of an idyllic community where everything’s the same and we get to see that although Squidward initially enjoys his new place of residence, we do see that he does get bored by it all after spending an unclear amount of time there (apparently about two weeks, to be precise, from what I’ve read online).

NO FREE RIDES

Another common running gag revolves around SpongeBob’s numerous attempts to pass his boating exam but ultimately failing it every time he takes it. In this episode, after SpongeBob yet again fails the test, with this one just so happening to be the last one for the entire school year, Mrs. Puff, not wanting to have to deal with him again for another year, uses her ‘ace in the hole’, extra credit, so that SpongeBob can pass. But then after passing him, she then realizes the trouble that she’s about to cause as a result of letting SpongeBob drive so she then tries to steal his new car while he tries to get it back. My favorite part of this episode is easily when SpongeBob is hanging onto the car and is dragged through a whole bunch of obstacles, including Giant Clams, Cheese Graters, and worst of all, educational television. Now without further ado, here’s SpongeBob’s hypnotic stare.

FRANKENDOODLE

This episode revolves around the shenanigans that ensue when SpongeBob and Patrick come across a big pencil that fell from the sky which, in reality, was due to an artist at sea up on the surface accidentally dropping the pencil in the water, which results in him learning (the hard way) about the two biggest rules of being an artist at sea; always bring spare pencils and, later on once he gets the pencil back, a pencil sharpener. Anyway, SpongeBob and Patrick discover that this pencil actually has the ‘power’ to make all of their drawings real but when they draw a cartoon version of SpongeBob, this ‘doodle’ doppelganger starts to wreak havoc. I have to admit, this episode can be a little creepy at times as a result of its premise in which drawings come to life and how one of them ends up turning evil and tries to literally ‘erase’ SpongeBob from existence. It’s kind of a ‘horror’ story when you start to think about it, which does make sense considering that the title of the episode is a play on the classic monster story/movie, ‘Frankenstein’.

BAND GEEKS

And now we come to what is commonly regarded by many as the best episode of the entire series and I’m not going to lie… I think that I very much do agree with that statement. It’s truly an all-time classic, not just as an episode of the series but as one of the best episodes of any animated show ever. In this episode, Squidward tries to set up a band when his rival Squilliam asks him to be a substitute for his own band at an upcoming event, the Bubble Bowl, which it turns out is actually a real-life football game with the sea creatures appearing in a dome in the middle of the field at halftime. Squidward gathers together all of the people of Bikini Bottom to be in the band and, as you might have guessed, hilarity ensues. This episode is full of classic moments, from Patrick asking Squidward if mayonnaise and horseradish are instruments to Plankton running back and forth to play a harmonica to a pair of flag twirlers being told to spin so fast that they actually end up flying into the air and crashing into a blimp. And then of course you have the epic finale where Squidward, thinking that the band is going to suck given all that has happened during their practices, is shocked to see them perform so well with the song ‘Sweet Victory’. And that folks is why ‘Band Geeks’ is easily the all-time greatest episode of ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’.

For your viewing and listening pleasure: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANk8xlsp1pQ

GRAVEYARD SHIFT

Like ‘Rock Bottom’, ‘Graveyard Shift’ also does a great job at establishing a fairly unsettling atmosphere. After a customer comes to the Krusty Krab right after it closes for the night, Mr. Krabs decides to have the Krusty Krab be open for 24 hours a day, leaving SpongeBob and Squidward forced to stick around to serve customers. At one point during the night, Squidward decides to pull a prank on SpongeBob by telling him a story about an old employee who accidentally cut off his own hand while at work, replaced it with a spatula, and then got run over by a bus. Now, as a ghost, this ‘Hash-Slinging Slasher’ returns to the Krusty Krab every Tuesday night (for the record, this takes place on a Tuesday night so Squidward just used that night for his story) to enact his vengeance upon the place. And although Squidward was just making it all up, things start to happen that make it seem like the Slasher is indeed coming. I won’t spoil anything that happens in the finale but there’s some funny twists that occur revealing what’s really going on, including a nice little reference to one of the most famous classic films of all time, which I won’t name here.

SAILOR MOUTH

Yes folks, they made an episode of ‘SpongeBob’ that was entirely based around swearing. Again, sometimes our favorite shows from our childhoods can really stretch the boundaries of what can be shown on shows aimed towards kids. In this episode, SpongeBob comes across a word that he doesn’t know and when he says it, the word in question gets censored by a dolphin noise. When he asks Patrick about it, he tells him that it’s what’s known as a ‘sentence enhancer’ but after they start using it in front of everybody (including some who really shouldn’t be hearing it), Mr. Krabs tells them that it’s not okay to say that word, which is one of 13 bad words that should never be used. So ultimately this whole episode consists of the main characters frequently getting into instances where they end up swearing. There’s a scene where Mr. Krabs goes on a big expletive-laced rant after injuring his foot where he uses all 13 of the bad words. Apparently in the scene where SpongeBob swears after losing a board game, he was originally supposed to tell Patrick to go **** himself. Damn! I can see why this episode was so controversial and yet it’s still so hilarious to see these characters get into a situation that you would absolutely never see in a kids show these days.

PROCRASTINATION

Admit it folks, we can all relate to what happens to SpongeBob in this episode. We’ve all experienced a moment in our lives where we found ourselves constantly getting distracted when we were supposed to be working on a big project. In the case of SpongeBob, it’s an 800-word essay for boating school on what not to do at a stoplight that is due the very next day. Again, it’s an effective situation for the plot of an episode as we see SpongeBob constantly finding himself stuck with what can definitely be seen as a serious case of writer’s block (as a film critic, I can definitely relate) while trying to write his paper so he ends up doing other things instead, like feeding Gary and calling Patrick in the middle of the night, for example. But easily my favorite moment during this episode is when it looks like he’s finally getting a lot of the essay done through a montage but at the end of it when he finally looks over what he’s written so far, we see that all he actually did was just write the word ‘the’ in a fancy style of font. It’s a great collection of funny moments capped off by an incredibly hilarious payoff that of course I won’t dare reveal to anyone who hasn’t seen the episode yet. Needless to say, if you have seen it, then you know what I’m talking about.

On another note, this episode is also notable because it had a couple scenes cut out of it in recent years, three to be precise. But only one of these scenes makes sense as to why it was cut. It’s a scene where SpongeBob is dreaming about getting his driver’s license as we then cut to a car crashing. Obviously, there’s a good reason behind this cut as obviously Nick didn’t want kids doing that exact same thing. But then there’s another scene cut where SpongeBob looks outside to see everyone having fun. Apparently this scene was cut because in it, Patrick is putting lotion on Sandy’s back and it was thought that he was unhooking her bra. But seriously, if you watch the scene, there really isn’t any indication that this is happening at all. Another scene that was cut is when SpongeBob does some calisthenics (even his nose and eyelashes do some working out as well). At the time I am writing this, there is no official reason as to why this scene was cut from the episode and now, just like what happened with ‘The Muppet Christmas Carol’ when the song ‘When Love is Gone’ was cut, there’s a clearly obvious jarring edit that occurs in current airings of the episode as a result of this cut. Ah well, despite all of this, ‘Procrastination’ is still another fun episode of the series that I’m certain all of us can relate to in some way given the circumstances.

JUST ONE BITE

And here’s yet another classic episode that, like ‘Procrastination’, also notably had a scene cut from it. The episode revolves around Squidward, who declares that he doesn’t like Krabby Patties and that he’s never had one and he never will. SpongeBob tries to convince him otherwise but Squidward isn’t having any of SpongeBob’s nonsense… that is, until it’s shown that he really does like Krabby Patties, resulting in him trying to have another one without anybody knowing about it, especially SpongeBob. You want to talk about surreal moments, folks? How about the scene in this episode where Squidward fantasizes about falling in love with a big Krabby Patty, having a kid with it (…don’t look at me, that’s literally what happens in this episode), growing old together, and finally dying. If I haven’t mentioned it already, there are quite a lot of weird things that happen in this show, especially whenever the camera zooms in on someone’s face, resulting in the animation becoming far more detailed and also fairly disturbing. And there’s no better example of this than in this episode when Squidward assures SpongeBob that he doesn’t like Krabby Patties.

Does this face look unsure to you?

Like I said earlier, this episode also had a moment that was cut out following initial airings. In this case, it’s the scene where Squidward sneaks into the Krusty Krab at night when no one’s around. In the original version of the episode, he stops himself from entering the Krusty Krab as he realizes that he’s bound to set off some kind of security. He then notices that this ‘security’ is apparently nothing more than a bucket of water so because he thinks it’s harmless, he then proceeds to tip it over. But then finally he realizes that it isn’t water and is actually gas. A lit match is dropped and he ends up catching on fire … twice. Yeah, as soon as the first explosion is over, another bucket of gas is dropped and another explosion occurs before Squidward finally comes across the Krabby Patty Vault. From what I’ve read online, there isn’t an official reason as to why this scene was cut but it seems like it primarily because this episode came out fairly shortly after 9/11, when the media looked to censor anything that could be viewed resembling terrorism and violence… though if you ask me, I don’t really see how this scene has that much in common with anything of that nature. It’s just a case of the Krusty Krab having an extremely excessive form of security that Squidward ends up getting caught by.

Then again, we are talking about a scene where Squidward ends up right in the middle of two explosions so I do understand why Nick decided to have the scene cut out following the events of 9/11. But with that in mind, I also want to note that some of the more recent episodes of the show haven’t gotten the same treatment despite the fact that they feature far more gruesome moments, like in ‘House Fancy’ when Squidward’s toenail gets ripped out or in ‘Pineapple Fever’ where his eyebrow gets ripped out. Yes folks, these gruesome scenes (commonly referred to as being part of a recent trend of the series known as ‘Squidward Torture Porn’) have yet to be removed and yet the scene in this episode, which is 100% tame by comparison, is the one that got cut. Words cannot even begin to describe how ridiculously stupid of a situation this is. Thankfully, unlike the calisthenics scene from ‘Procrastination’, this cut doesn’t result in a jarring edit; it just zooms into the shot of the Krabby Patty vault. Still, I think this episode is even better when the deleted scene, which is actually pretty dang funny, unlike those aforementioned gruesome moments. I do remember a time, folks, when the unedited version of this episode ran on TV. Those were the days… back when this show was actually good.

DOING TIME

Now this was a mindf*** of an episode, which starts after SpongeBob yet again causes a lot of destruction and mayhem during one of his boating tests but this time, as a result, Mrs. Puff gets arrested. But when she gets to prison, she realizes that she’s much better off there because she doesn’t have to deal with SpongeBob anymore. But because SpongeBob feels guilty about letting this happen, he and Patrick try to break her out. What makes this episode so memorable is the fact that as the episode go on, we see that this was all just in Mrs. Puff’s head as she starts to go crazy as a result of SpongeBob and Patrick trying to break her out, sort of a dream within a dream if you will (insert ‘Inception’ joke here). The first two times SpongeBob and Patrick try to break her out, they disguise themselves as rocks and then they hide in the kitchen’s chili and when Mrs. Puff brings over the guards, they think she’s just talking to inanimate objects. Ultimately it gets to the point where she’s put into solitary confinement (after literally ripping two guards’ faces off because just a few moments earlier, SpongeBob and Patrick walked by in guard uniforms) and after hallucinating that her room is made out of SpongeBob she starts flashing back to the incident that landed her in jail in the first place but this time to different results; in one version, SpongeBob gets arrested and in another she’s driving with a fellow inmate named Donna, who’s voiced by none other than Biff from ‘Back to the Future’, Thomas Wilson, who has done other roles in the series including Flatts the Flounder and the Tattletale Strangler (“So what’s for dinner tonight, Puff Mama… Chili?”). All in all, this is a crazy episode but an episode that’s full of laughs as well.

ROCK-A-BYE BIVALVE

SpongeBob and Patrick take care of a baby scallop, effectively becoming its mother and father… Boom, instant comedic gold. There are a lot of memorable moments in this episode, from when Patrick realizes that he can’t be the mother because he doesn’t wear a shirt (resulting in a fairly gross image that we really didn’t need to see but is still a hilarious moment nevertheless) to the montage of scenes where Patrick keeps coming home from ‘work’ and is too tired to take care of the baby, leaving SpongeBob to have to do all the work (I especially love the one ‘time card’, a common gag in the series which in this episode has been focused around Patrick’s claims of when he’ll take care of the baby, that just goes ‘Uhh….’). And whenever Patrick comes home, he just goes into the living room to watch TV show, specifically a show where some guy gets hit in the head with a coconut. I put ‘work’ in quotations because, well, for anyone who hasn’t seen the episode, I won’t spoil it because it’s such a funny reveal of what Patrick claims to be his ‘work’. Not only that but the episode even ends on probably one of the best final lines in the entire series when, after the baby scallop finally heads out on its own, Patrick tells SpongeBob that they ‘should have another one’.

WET PAINTERS

We got a classic pair of episodes coming up, the first being ‘Wet Painters’, in which SpongeBob and Patrick get put to work repainting Mr. Krabs’ house and all seems to go well until they get paint (which they are told is permanent, by the way) on the first dollar that Mr. Krabs ever earned and to make matters worse, Mr. Krabs warned them that if they got any paint on his valuable possessions, then he would have their rear ends cut off and mounted over his fireplace (DAMN… that’s dark and the episode even cuts to a scene where their rear ends are cut off and hung over the fireplace… GEEZ!). Anyway, despite that incredibly dark threat, the episode is full of hilarious moments as SpongeBob and Patrick try to get the paint off of the dollar, from putting it in a washing machine to just smashing it with a computer (the latter scenario is made even more funny due to the line before it where Patrick tells SpongeBob that ‘they’re not cavemen’ and that ‘they have technology’… which he then uses to smash the dollar. And this episode also has a great ending where, without giving anything major away, it’s shown that this whole conflict was ultimately…

KRUSTY KRAB TRAINING VIDEO

Easily one of the Top 10 greatest episodes of the series; the title says it all, this is a ‘training video’ for new employees at the Krusty Krab. There isn’t any plot in this episode, it’s just a series of scenes highlighting every aspect of work at the Krusty Krab, from hygiene practices to keeping Plankton from stealing the Krabby Patty formula. Memorable moments include the key phrase ‘People Order Our Patties’ (which, if you haven’t figured it out by now, is ‘P.O.O.P.’ for short) and the numerous times where SpongeBob asks the narrator if he could learn how to make a Krabby Patty… and oh yeah, let’s talk about that pivotal moment where SpongeBob finally gets to learn the secret Krabby Patty formula. After all of this buildup… the episode cuts out just as the narrator starts to tell SpongeBob the formula. Like pretty much everyone who watched this episode, I first thought that the cable cut out early but then I realized it was intentional and while I’ll admit that for a time I was kind of pissed at this episode for doing this, nowadays I just love how ballsy of an ending this is once again keeping the formula secret.

CHOCOLATE WITH NUTS

Yet another classic episode with a simple but hilarious premise; SpongeBob and Patrick become Chocolate salesmen so that they can be rich and act fancy. But for the most part, they don’t have much luck. One customer starts chasing them around town yelling ‘CHOCOLATE!!’ (who has a great final moment to his ‘episode arc’ when he finally catches up to SpongeBob and Patrick), and another fish consistently scams them out of their money by giving them candy storing bags, storing bags to store the candy storing bags, and then just pretending to be seriously injured. And then after a while SpongeBob and Patrick decide to just lie and say that their chocolate will do great things, like make someone fall in love or letting someone rule the world. In short, this is another episode full of hilarious and unforgettable moments that come as a result of the spot-on writing for this episode. Also…

Probably my Favorite Moment of the whole Series

I HAD AN ACCIDENT

This takes the cake for being the absolute weirdest episode of the entire series. It starts with SpongeBob getting into an accident while sand skiing that results in him literally breaking his butt. He’s warned by the doctor that another incident like that would result in him being placed into the machine known as the ‘Iron Butt’, the buttocks equivalent of an Iron Lung. So this results in SpongeBob deciding to stay indoors from here on out, leading Patrick and Sandy to try and get him to come outside. A pretty simple episode for the most part, until the very end. Patrick and Sandy try to fool SpongeBob by having Patrick pretend to be an ape and ‘attack’ Sandy but then when a second Patrick enters the scene, it’s revealed to be a real live-action gorilla (Well technically speaking, it’s just a guy in a suit but that’s beside the point) who begins to attack Sandy and Patrick. SpongeBob finally comes out ready to face his fears but then he too gets captured by the gorilla. And then, when SpongeBob brings up the elephant in the room in regards to the fact that there’s a gorilla underwater, the gorilla then starts talking, yells to his friend George (who’s in a Zebra costume) that ‘they’re onto us’, and then the two of them ride off into the sunset. We then cut to a live-action family watching the episode obviously confused by what they just saw as the father then turns the TV off, ending the episode. I mean, this ending comes straight out of nowhere, results in some odd imagery, namely a scene where a live-action gorilla and zebra (again in suits, but we’ll ignore that) ride off into the sunset, and offers no explanation as to what the hell just happened. And that’s why this episode is so great, because it just rolls with it.

So those are my Top 25 (though in no particular order) favorite episodes of ‘SpongeBob SquarePants’. Of course, as I noted earlier, some episodes didn’t end up missing the cut so feel free to list your own favorites in the comment section below.

Stay tuned for a review of ‘The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie’, which will be posted in the next few days.