WORST FILM OF THE YEAR

(WARNING: There will be spoilers because, well, I don't really recommend that you see the following film in the first place)

 

As I mentioned in my Top 5 Disappointing Films of the Year post, 2012 was such a great year for movies that there was only one film that I saw all year that I really hated, which meant that I can't really do a Top 5 worst films of the year list. But, I will still talk about this one movie and explain why it is my pick for the worst film of 2012. Well, the movie in question today is a romantic comedy, a genre that usually does result in some rather bad and unfunny films. But this one in particular actually has a really good cast backing it up and yet nothing good comes out of it. I am course referring to...

THIS MEANS WAR

This film is one of those comedies that revolves around two characters who are long-time friends but then they become rivals and try to sabotage each other in order to get something that they both want but can't have at the same time. In the case of this film, we have two CIA agents who are vying for the affections of the same woman. I'll get to the 'humor' of this movie in a bit, but first I'm going to talk about the really big problem of the movie and that is the whole romance aspect of it all. Now, I am not referring to the chemistry between the film's leads as Tom Hardy and Chris Pine do both have really good chemistry with Reese Witherspoon. It's another thing entirely that ruins the whole movie. To explain this in full detail, I'm going to have to go into the film's plot first.

Pine and Hardy play FDR Foster (yes, that is really Pine's character's name) and Tuck, two CIA agents who would take a bullet for each other, as Tuck points out in one scene. Tuck has just gone through a divorce and decides to get back on the market. He soon meets Lauren (Witherspoon), a product testing executive who is also dealing with relationship issues after her ex-boyfriend get engaged. The two hit it off, but then FDR strolls in and ends up dating her as well, at first not knowing that she's also dating his best friend. Eventually, the two guys do find out they're dating the same woman and originally agree not to tell her that they're friends, or even try to sabotage each other. But, they eventually do start sabotaging each other (using CIA equipment) while on dates with Lauren.


Now, the thing that really bugs me about this romance is how Witherspoon's character doesn't even try to tell each of her 'boyfriends' that she's dating someone else. She just lets it slide and even worse, I feel that she picked the wrong guy at the end. Now you see, Tuck is portrayed as the nice guy of the two friends (yes, Tom Hardy, the same guy who broke Batman's back) while FDR is the womanizer of the two. The movie does try to have FDR change his ways while he is dating Lauren, but that still doesn't really change much. So, in the end, she ends up going with FDR. Sure, Tuck does get back with his ex-wife at the end of the film, but I just feel that he should have ended up with Lauren.

Really, the implausibility of this movie frequently hits record highs. Not only do FDR and Tuck use the CIA's equipment without their permission, but they don't even get in trouble for doing so. Their only excuse is really 'The Patriot Act' and also, for the record, they use the equipment to stalk Lauren, which is just plain creepy and makes both of these characters pretty unlikable in that sense. The romance plays such an important part in this movie that the film just straight up ignores the other subplot of the film that has FDR and Tuck going after a criminal named Heinrich, played by Til Schweiger, who is very underused in this film except for at the end when he kidnaps Lauren just so that Tuck and FDR can resolve their differences and rescue her.

And then we get to the humor, which as you may have guessed is very much lacking, particularly during the first half which is not just unfunny but kind of painful actually to watch. The only real funny moment I remember from this half of the movie wasn't even a joke. It revolved around this scene where Tuck is confronted by a larger man. The reason why I bring this up is because Tom Hardy is noticeably smaller in this film than he has been in some of his other movies. I just find it funny that this other guy is confronting him because I just imagine how the scene would turn out if Hardy was Bane or his character from 'Warrior'. To put it simply, I wouldn't mess with Hardy, even if he's rather small like he is in this film.

However, once FDR and Tuck do start to sabotage each other, the humor does actually pick up the pace which is why I don't think this is a total waste of time. It also does help that both Pine and Hardy do have really good chemistry with Witherspoon and heck, even the two of them work off each other well. But really, this is one film that I really, really, really don't recommend. It's a film that Tom Hardy and Chris Pine won't be thinking fondly of in the future, and unfortunately this is the kind of movie that poor Reese Witherspoon is probably going to be connected to from now on. In my original review for the film, I stated that this film is only worth renting but even still, I'd recommend you look elsewhere first.

Final Rating: 1/5