As we near the end of Bond Month here
on Rhode Island Movie Corner, it's time for a big 'Top 5'. Out of the
23 Bond films that have come out over the years, there have been a
few that have stood out from the rest and other films that weren't
that great. In fact, some of them were downright terrible and not
worthy of being in the same franchise with films like 'Goldfinger'
and 'From Russia With Love'. So, with that in mind, here is my list
of the Top 5 worst Bond movies of all time.
5. DIE ANOTHER DAY (2002)
I'll openly admit that while I do agree
that this isn't really a good Bond film, I can't really say it's that
bad either. Compared to some of the other films on this list, Die
Another Day is a very entertaining film, though mostly on the level
of 'popcorn entertainment'. While this film does have a solid first
half where Bond tries to find out who was responsible for betraying
him by exposing his identity while on assignment in North Korea, the
second half is rather mediocre. It's also clear that this movie used
way too much CGI. Just watch the scene where Bond surfs down a
'glacier wave' in Iceland and you'll see what I'm talking about. So
what is good about this movie, you ask? Well, in his final appearance
as '007', Pierce Brosnan still does a great job as he always done
during his time as Bond. Toby Stephens' Gustav Graves is a pretty
entertaining villain, and Rosamund Pike's Miranda Frost is also a
very solid Bond girl. However, everything else in the movie (Halle
Berry's Jinx, the theme song from Madonna, etc...) is pretty mediocre
as far as Bond films go. Still, I can't say it's the worst ever.
Rating: 3/5
4. DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)
It seems to me like any Bond actor's
last Bond film somehow ends up being their worst (with some
exceptions). Case in point, 'Diamonds are Forever', the last official
film from EON to star the original 007 himself, Sean Connery. This
was just an awful way to end Connery's tenure as Bond for EON, one
that saw three of the best Bond movies of all time. Why? Because the
movie is so over-the-top and campy that it is very hard to take it
seriously. Most like to call this one 'a Roger Moore Bond film
starring Sean Connery', but I feel that this wasn't the kind of Bond
movie Sean Connery should have ever done. Once they show an elephant
hitting it big at the casino, there was no going back for me. On the
bright side, Sean Connery is still great as always as Bond and
although he may not be the best to have ever played the role, Charles
Gray is a solid Blofeld. But on a whole, this is the first Bond film
on this list that I do not recommend.
Rating: 2/5
3. MOONRAKER (1979)
As the title suggests, this movie has
James Bond... IN SPACE!!! That pretty much speaks for itself in
regards into what kind of movie this is going to be. But for some odd
reason, I feel that a movie where Bond goes up into space could have
worked somehow if they did it right. But as you may have guessed,
they didn't do it here. This wasn't even supposed to come out after
1977's 'The Spy Who Loved Me', but came to be because of a certain
little movie called 'Star Wars' and it's clear the filmmakers were
trying to capitalize on the science fiction genre. To be fair, it
isn't until the end of the film when Bond actually goes up into
space, but after that it very much feels like a blatant ripoff of
Star Wars. It also doesn't help that the main plot of the movie is a
re-write of not only 'The Spy Who Loved Me', but also 'You Only Live
Twice'. All three of these movies were made by the same director
(Lewis Gilbert) and yet all three of them had the same exact plot
about Bond investigating the disappearance of a submarine or a space
shuttle. But probably the biggest insult here is how they handled the
character of Jaws, who makes his second appearance in the series
after 'The Spy who Loved Me'. They take one of the best Bond henchmen
of all time and reduce him to comic relief. They also make him a good
guy at the end of it. Why? So why isn't this the worst Bond film
ever? Well, compared to the final two films on this list, Moonraker
is actually kind of entertaining though they could have done a much
better job without trying to cash in on Star Wars.
Rating: 2/5
2. THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN (1974)
This is one Bond movie that is just
plain up boring. It has an intriguing villain for Bond to face, but
once the movie reaches its second half, it's just a forgettable Bond
movie. The only real standout aspect of this film is Christopher Lee
as the main villain Scaramanga. Even if the movie around him is
mediocre, he's one of the classic Bond villains. It's too bad though
that the final fight between him and Bond was pretty anticlimactic.
We have Bond chasing Scaramanga by going through his 'fun house' (on
a side note, I have to hand it to whoever designed this place for
making a really unique set piece) and the sequence concludes with
Bond taking the place of a dummy of himself and surprising Scaramanga
and then shooting him dead. That's a lame way for one of the best
Bond villains of all time to go out. Thankfully, this was only Roger
Moore's second film, unlike another film where he was much, much
older.
Rating: 1.5/5
And on that note...
1. A VIEW TO A KILL (1985)
What's worse than a dull Bond film at
the beginning of one Bond actor's career? How about a dull Bond film
that ends that same actor's tenure as 007 in the worst way possible,
even more so than Sean Connery in 'Diamonds are Forever'. Yes, 'A
View to a Kill' was the last Bond film for Roger Moore as he neared
the age of 57. That alone should be the clue as to why he shouldn't
have gone this far, because he had visibly aged since his last Bond
film 'Octopussy'. He just wasn't convincing anymore in the role and
it was pretty creepy to see him wooing girls who could have been
young enough to be his granddaughters. In fact, Moore discovered that
he was older than lead Bond girl Tanya Roberts' mother. Speaking of
Roberts, her character Stacey Sutton is easily the worst Bond girl in
franchise history for just being the damsel in distresses who did
little to actually help Bond. Is there anything that can save this
movie (aside from Duran Duran's awesome theme song)? Well, like 'The
Man with the Golden Gun', it's 'A View to a Kill's' lead villain;
Christopher Walken as Max Zorin. While the character is a little bit
over-the-top, that is what Walken's known for and it is what he does
best. Still, he can't save this train-wreck of a Bond film which is
why it is my pick for the worst Bond film ever.
Rating: 1/5
NEXT UP: THE TOP 5 BEST JAMES BOND
FILMS OF ALL TIME
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